Communication breakdown

A typical conversation in the land of plenty amongst the students will go as follows. The matter of the conversation as we show below is not important but the recurrence of certain motifs is.

I'm like, I went to like this bar last night, and the bartender was
like, the skirt is awesome, and I was like blushing. And it's like, we
are like with fake id's so it's like scary to go in such places and I
was like all daring and it's like it was like awesome.

What it means:

Dash dash dash like dash dash dash like dash dash dash dash dash dash dash dash like dash dash dash dash dash dash like dash dash dash dash like dash dash like dash dash dash dash dash dash like dash dash dash dash dash dash dash dash like dash dash dash dash dash like dash dash like dash.

The theory:

Because this kind (the first of the paragraphs) of conversations are frequent in universities, researchers were lead to believe that there exists a deeper pattern in them. It was soon proposed out that the original pseudo-English conversation is actually a Morse-code with everything other than the revered word like being determined as redundancy in the information packet travel. This theory is now finding a wide spread acceptance amongst the scientific community.

Safir Merchant.
The Johns Hopkins University

(Communicated by Purushottam Dixit)